I find it strange when parents see me in public on the weekend, on a holiday, during the summer etc and want to discuss with me something that is going on with their child on the bus, and some of them aren't very nice about it. If I'm in the grocery store looking at lettuce what makes you think I'm thinking about work? If I'm not currently on a bus what makes you think that I can (or want to) deal with the fact that little Johnny did such and such last week ? Not that I don't care, but seriously tell me when I'm at work, working and can do something about it, not when I'm buying tampons with my husband and kids in tow. Don't get me wrong, if I had known Johnny did such and such I would've done something about it when it happened but on the weekend Johnny is not on the top of my priority list. Honestly, I probably won't remember on Monday what you yelled at me about in the middle of the 6th aisle, so just save it for me until Monday. And seriously, telling me about something that happened 5 days ago, a month ago isn't very effective. As a parent we all know (or we should) we can't punish a child for something they did days ago. If you don't catch them in the act then what good are you really doing punishing them a week later? The only time I would ever address something going on with you child on the bus days later is if it was brought to my attention and I observed it happening again in the moment, otherwise my discipline is going to be ineffective. The only time I will take an accusation seriously and jump on it and aggressively start seeking answers is if it involves some sort of abuse, such as bullying or fighting or threats of violence, but I can't address the other student's behavior on Saturday, at the laundromat, off duty, meet me at the bus stop on Monday when I can do something.
Okay, I'm starting to sound like I'm really heartless and mean, but that is not the case. I care about my students. I am concerned about their general well being and overall happiness while riding my bus but when I am off, I am OFF. I check out. I leave all that drama and heartache on the bus and go home. I am doing things that relax me so that on Monday I'm not a big old meanie beans. I do not want to deal with bus stuff when I'm not on the bus. Its like when you're on vacation and your job continues to call you over and over and over again with questions or requests. You're at home and you're thinking "just leave me alone, I'm not working, I'll deal with this when I get back". That's how bus drivers feel. Now on the other side, I do enjoy seeing my students when they see me in public over the summer and come to say hello. That is nice, but not parents stopping me in the middle of my family time to gripe, yell and threaten me. Its annoying.
This whole situation brings to mind an old saying "don't do to others what you don't want done to you" Its short, sweet and simple and it makes sense. When I'm off, I don't want to deal with work stuff. I want to relax and enjoy my life outside of work. I want to be myself and just have a good time. I will worry about Monday when Monday comes. And in truth some parents who have stopped me and been rude to me while I am off have had a really hard time coming to terms with the fact that I am not the same person at home that I am at work. If I'm off the clock I will not sit back and smile while you stand there yelling at me about something, while calling me names and threatening me. I will tell you to go away and leave me alone and I will not be nice about it. I will not be professional or hold my tongue and I will not care if you don't like it. I'm not at work and when I'm off my actions so long as they are legal do NOT determine whether or not I have a job at the end of the day. I'm sorry if that sounds mean, but I know all bus drivers feel this way. Some parents feel like just because we're off and in public somewhere random they can still abuse us. When we are at work, we are working, we have our work face on and we have to be a certain way to maintain our income, but when we are off we will not put up with abuse, plan and simple. Call my boss, when I tell him you verbally assaulted me on my off time he'll let it go. Even bosses understand that we have lives outside of work, they don't want us calling them on the weekend either.
Bus drivers do not drive a bus 24/7/365..we have lives outside of our jobs and just like everyone else in every other profession in the world we leave our work at work and go home at the end of the day...
